Why Do I Keep Doing This?
In the wake of my recent post about the mental health consequences of premature delivery on mothers, I let my daughter talk me into watching a program on TV that I knew would leave me crying. Some of you may have seen it. It’s called Quint-Essential, and it airs on TLC. Quint-Essential follows the story of the Ferrell quintuplets, who were born at 31 weeks gestation on December 21st, 2006. I was actually doing ok watching an earlier episode of the show until I realized they not only share Camden’s birthday, but also her gestational age. From that moment, all bets were off, and I started crying at every image of the babies in the NICU.
I wonder when it will stop. Camden is here, and she is relatively healthy. Our day-to-day problems are minimal, so shouldn’t the pain go away? I think this is the one thing I didn’t anticipate when I they told me they were going to have to deliver Camden at 31weeks. I knew what her risks were, but I never realized what this whole experience would do to me.
For those of you with older preemies, I’d love to know how you’re coping now. What sets you off, and do you ever get “over it”?
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